Pornography Penetrates the Great Firewall

A man in his 40s was recently fined for watching pornography. He did not distribute the videos, he didn't sell them and make profits out of it. He simply downloaded and watched them. All in the privacy of his four walls. And for this he has been fined 3000RNB (SGD600). The authorities claim this is one of their ways in trying to minimize the spread of pornography in the city. I say, use the freaking firewall man! You have it there! You used it to ban social networking sites. You used it to ban Youtube. Ban Pornography sites as well! As long as its available on the internet, you cannot blame this guy. The charge on him is kinda invalid since it was his privacy that was pried upon. Who really should be charged is...

He - Amudan Law

Back in 2010, 29th March, two students who went by the names Samantha He(to be pronounced as her) and Usha Amudan who were bored beyond any form of reasoning during their Biochemistry lecture; discovered the new He-Amudan Law or otherwise known as the "Blah" Effect.

The following Equation illustrates the "Blah" Effect: B = 1/A

No. of "blahs"s (B) are inversely proportional to the Percentage of Content Absorption (A) by the Student. This would produce a linear descending curve. In other words as the number of "Blahs" in the students' head increases, the percentage he absorbs from the class is reduced drastically.

As the amount of information moves from across the classroom  towards the sleep deprived bored kid, he subconsciously replaces every word the Professor says (with so much conviction) into an alternate form; the "blah" form. When this transformation takes place, the absorption of the information in the air is reduced both in content and at pretty much insignificant sound waves.

What is not obvious from the graph is that, the creative side of the brain overwhelms the student during the "blah" Effect. This has been often misinterpreted as the "Zoning out stage" which is of course incorrect as the geniuses of this law have proven.

Many academicians,especially the ones with multiple qualifications and zero social life, argue that though the creative side taking over might be a good thing, the student is losing out so much information that is required of him. To counter that Amudan recommends the institutions to send their students back home for the day if they were to be diagnosed with the "Blah" Effect. The counter solution might be viewed as an useless one however, that is not the case. As the inventors of the law, being students themselves have clarified the solution further.

Amudan says, "Whilst in class, the student is left with very little to do besides experiencing the "blah" effect. However, things change once they are put in a comfortable location without the voice of the Professor and with the aid of engaging stuff, say for example, video games. At this point the student's brain cells are re-stimulated. After an hour of playing, we go seek glucose for the brain. Food pretty much. Then soon we are on our feet all set to tackle the texts. Unless a curriculum is written around the factors I mentioned, I'm sorry to say the "blah" Effect will take over the student body."

As Amudan was further questioned on the possibility of an exciting professor and an engaging class:"Well at that point, the "Crap" Effect takes over. This involves the student memorising every single crap the textbook carries. Then again, the "Blah" Effect is still present in a subtle form", finishes Amudan.

Some of the rare cases have been individuals in the teaching professions who were noticed with the symptoms of the "Blah" Effect. Notably the ones who were teaching an entire lecture hall of nerds.

Note: The "Blah Effect" is contagious and individuals should be handled with care.

Lost in Translation II

Situation:
A group of students got together to discuss their project. This takes place in one of the Universities in Singapore. Two Indians and three Chinese girls form that group. What starts of as a discussion in English changes into an all Chinese discussion. One of the Indian girls was all pissed. What results is a communication break down. Obvious reasons are the ignorance of the Chinese girls and the Indian girls who could have expressed their discomfort during the entire situation. Considering this took place in Singapore where our first language is English and the Chinese students were rather carried away with their language, I am a little lost at what to say. I did however told my friend, who happens to be one of the Indian girls; yes the one who was damn vexed, that she should have voiced out. Even before she did that, she assumed the Chinese girls were not gonna heed her. She didn't even try. If she had mentioned something to the other girls, do you think things would have changed? I think it would have been worth the try.

Having lived in Shanghai for almost two years now I have come to understand the situation of being lost in translation more than half the time. When I first arrived, I rarely travelled alone. I ensured there was always someone with me when I went to Wal-Mart (we have it here :P), to Administration office, pretty much everywhere. If I did end up going alone I would practise my hand gestures and write down the location in chinese, after having it translated. Two weeks of Chinese lessons before departing Singapore were not of much help besides being fluent in expressing my thanks to the Chinese who were able to help me out. Surprising enough, I haven't been robbed, pickpocket-ed or even cheated on my money. Touch wood. The city has been rather nice to me. Guess I have been nice to it in ways I never realised. :-D

The first useful thing I bought after landing in Shanghai was a toothbrush. The next day I invested my cash on a 2nd hand bicycle, Josh. I name stuff! Riding a cycle on the Shanghai streets, to me, was worse than the scariest roller coasters on Earth. Cars came from every possible, available road space. And there were the useless, insignificant traffic lamps. The colors which do change between green, red and orange had no effect on the drivers. To the drivers, it was always green or perhaps there were no traffic lights to begin with. Josh and I had pretty miserable experiences crashing into fences, people's butt (not on purpose but we going downhill and Josh's brake malfunctioned), other bike riders and later having to apologise and hear their rage expressed in a language I then barely understood.

Things have changed now. I grasp the language much, much better, though fluency is not the word I would use for my Chinese speaking abilities. However, I no longer own Josh or any bicycle for that matter. I walk to my campus, so damage to the many bike riders have been minimised. Although I do jaywalk/dash across the very same streets I was talking about earlier. I have mastered the art of understanding the Chinese roads. Key is to not make eye contact with the driver who is about to make a turn while you cross. If you do, he assumes you are allowing him to take the turn first. And the vehicles behind him follow suit and you are stranded in the middle.

One thing that I feel is extremely beneficial with me becoming multi-lingual is to able to interact with as many people from a wide array of cultural backgrounds as possible. If I were in the same situation which I have been more than half the time, I turn to the next person beside me and tell them to translate the conversation for me. Often the translation takes a toll, and the mode of language returns to English. Imagine the next time someone speaks in Chinese amongst themselves, I will be able to understand. Whereas if I turn to my Indian friends and start speaking in a different language, they are at a lost. :p

WTF?!

A well liked Surgeon from Fujian Province of China, who was depressed over the leaving of his girlfriend and for unknown reasons happens to be unemployed as well; entered an elementary school and stabbed 13 children. 9 have been declared dead and 4 are barely surviving. These kids were between the ages of 6 and 8. Asked about his crazy rampage and all he had to say was "I have no regrets. I wanted to slay 30 kids". He deliberately stabbed the kids in the chest region to puncture their lungs. How are the lives of innocent kids in ANY WAY related to his miserable life?! I do not understand and I doubt I ever will. He has been given an insanity test. What an Insanity test really means I do not know but guess it determines his ability to gauge situations. Which in this instant happens to be a bad judgment call!

This too took place in China. An university student stabbed his room mate who was sleeping because he wouldn't stop snoring. He surrendered to the police after the incident and the court has sentenced him to death. Again I do not understand. Anger and the depths it brings one into is a puzzling revelation.

A kindergarten teacher has been sentenced to 3 years jail term for using a hypodermic needle attached to an empty syringe to prick kindee students if they "misbehave". No comments. Her job sucked and she was venting out her frustration. She can go vent the remaining frustration on the prison walls.

In Conversation - Let Freedom Ring

U: Oh Oh, I found this really cool quote. It says "Education is ruined by degrees".
S: Exactly! It used to be about learning. And now Education is forced into one. When one lacks a degree, they ask which society that deprived one is from!
U: Primitive....
S: Yeah. Sad. Education happens to be a priority unless you are living deep in the jungles or high up in the mountains.
U: I think the degrees refer to the paper qualification and also 'on so many levels education is ruined'.
S: It is sooo true. There was a point in time when they had teachers and disciples. They were learning. Now there is a rigid education system that forces information into students.
U: And we thought we had human rights....
S: Sad right. Let me tell you, no where in the world there is total freedom.
U: And we also say China is out of its mind...
S: Hehe

Hold my Hand my Friend

Now we share the same bright sun,
the same round moon
Why don't we share the same love
Life is shorter than most have thought.

- Hold My Hand - Maher Zain -

MARCH 20 - Happy Birthday Usha!

Congratulations to me, Usha, for surviving 22 years of my life and stepping into the 23rd.

My amazing friends treated me to lunch at this vegetarian restaurant. I believe they put in alot of effort into that one. It's pretty difficult to find  vegetarian restaurants in China. They formed an ensemble cast of singing the birthday song in 4 different languages, namely English, Chinese, Malay, Korean, Japanese and later I even got myself a cake. The cake was the inspiration to this post. Despite having past over 20 birthdays I have had less than ten birthday cakes in my life because I was not so crazy about having to cut a cake for every birthday. Anyways, here comes the list of 6 major cake events in the 20+ years of my existence.

First Birthday - An Indian pastry called Kesari with a massive candle in it. There was a picture of me all excited over the 'cake' and even more so cos the electricity was down.

3 years old - Me and my cake posed for a shot at the photo studio. I don't remember much of this either. There was a photo and mom said I wanted a cake so she bought a cake and dressed me up for the shot. And we pretty much ate the cake I guess.

5 years old - This was a really huge cake shaped as the number 5 with Ninja turtlesdesigns on them. :D I was a fan of the cartoon show. Still am actually. This was a huge event. I had lotsa people in the house and I barely knew many.

16 years old - This was a rectangular yellow cake. I don't remember the flavour anymore. I celebrated it an at old folks home. It was really fun. The oldies enjoyed and I enjoyed much much more hanging out with them. The nun who headed this missonary was this really nice black lady. My camera broke on that day and besides memories I have no photos of this day. :(

22 years old (2009) - My room mate got me a last minute cupcake cos she almost forgot my birthday. She was really sweet. A pink rose and a heart shaped candy came with it.

And today (2010) - My classmates got me an unconventional cake. They put together 12 pieces of individually cut, triangular shaped cakes to form a larger circular cake. So yea, this time I didn't quite cut the cake. There were candles though :D The two types of cakes that formed the larger circular cake was Parmesan Cheesecake and Chocolate cakes. It was awesome.

Before I close this post, Happy Birthday to Willy who was born on the same day, same year as me. Just different timings. I always ask people for their brithdays for two reasons. 1. Is to wish them when the day comes and 2. hoping they would have the same birth date as me :)

So if you share your birthday with me (March 20); Happy Birthday to you too my friend. May all your wishes be fulfilled or at least the one you made when you blew your candles. ;)

The Hangover

After a six hour stint in class of observing human tissues and trying to recollect what the professor might have mentioned in the beginning while my eyes were half closed, ears totally oblivious to the information in the air, the brain which had auto shut down even before I entered the lab; I was tired! My dinner was delayed so was my bed-time.

I searched the DVD rack to catch something during dinner and found the movie 'The Rebound'. Read the synopsis and one line caught my eye. "....watch something without having to think..." Alrighty! A perfect movie right there. Popped it in. And Catherine Zeta Jones was speaking in Russian. -_-

Changed the settings and sadly realized Catherine lacks the ability to speak in English on this one. I was left with only English subtitles. It was still weird. I mean it was dubbed in Russian. Nah..couldn't take Russian for another second.

Eventually settled for 'The Hangover'. According to wiki, movie was released late last june.

It was hilarious! Four guys and the mess they get into for being drugged with the wrong drug which causes them to lose their memory of what happened the previous day. It had Bradley Cooper (Phil), Zach G.(Alan), Ed Helms(Stu) and Justin Bartha(Doug). Zach's character was this weird guy who is pretty much stuck to the yester-years of things and has an entirely different way of both thinking, responding to situations which cracks the whole movie up.

To share the joy around, here's a few quotes from the movie:

Phil: You are not wearing that are you?
Alan: Wearing what?
Phil: The man purse. You're wearing that or are you just fuckin' with me?
Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus, its not a man purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil: So dos Joy Behar.

Alan: Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?
Receptionist: What do you mean?
Alan: I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.
Receptionist: I'm not sure.
Alan: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.
Receptionist: There's a phone in your room.
Alan: That will work.

(The four men checked into a hotel called Caesar's Palace in Vegas.)

Alan: Can I ask you another question?
Receptionist: Sure.
Alan: You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?
Receptionist: What do you mean?
Alan: Did Caesar live here?
Receptionist: No.
Alan: I didn't think so.

Alan: Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a fool proof system.
Stu: It's also illegal.
Alan: It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
Phil: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thank You Bin Laden.

(They wake up from their hangover and find a baby outside their door, a tiger in their bathroom and a missing Doug. After an entire day they still haven't found Doug. They ought to return the Tiger and during their attempt in drugging the Tiger, Stu sings whilst playing the piano...)

"What do Tigers dream of when they take their Tiger snooze. Do they dream of mauling Zebras, or Halle Berry in a catwoman  suit? Don't you worry you pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy Tiger bed. And we're gonna find our best friend Doug and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's murdered by crystal meth tweakers....
..............we're shit out of luck".

Further reading from Wiki, I learnt that this movie won the Golden Globe beating (500) Days of Summer. Hmm... Oh well, I enjoyed both the movies immensely. But still...(500) Days of Summer could have won. :D

Fragments from the Past

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you are still with me
I've been alone all along.

- My Immortal - Evanescence

Dying Internet Connection

I might sound like this kid who is heavily dependent on technology in my day to day life. Buts that's how it has been. I am heavily dependent on these things. Sadly, one of them have decided to die on me and the other is dying. Lara, my laptop is dying. My internet connection in shanghai took for a worse turn. Sad. Really Sad. Can't do much though. The wireless connection in my room has a miserable reception. So much for wireless! Together with the Great Firewall I have these to handle. :(

This explains why I don't blog often. Of course there is also this thing called studying. :p

And also why I don't comment on the blogs I read. Internet lasts me enough to read. And the proxy lasts shorter than that :s

Even this was blogged using a third party tool. I haven't seen my own blog in days. So guys, I am still reading many of your blogs that Google reader allows me to read. Oh oh and there is this annoying blogger thingy that keeps disrupting my comment sheet when I do try to comment on your blogs people.

Extremely sorry if I do not respond to your comments on this blog. I think blogger dislikes me so makes my life a tad bit difficult. Thank you for commenting on the site. ALL SMILES :D :D

Watching the raindrops hitting on my window, I sign off.

Looks like Looks matter

So yesterday was Women's Day and today I came across this.

A 49 year old English woman has gone under the knife over a hundred times just so she can look like a life-size barbie. I ain't no kidding. Her obsession with Barbie dolls began when she was six. However the obsession to look like her began a few years back. She has spent more than 500,000 pounds just on these surgeries. She holds the world record for the most number of cosmetic surgeries; which by the way is 150!

And now she is into injecting Botox for her 15 year old girl.

"With her help, I won't get that frozen-face look when i'm older and will never have a line or wrinkle on my face". - 15 year old Life-Size Barbie, Jr.

Second Chance

I am not a leader
neither am I a follower.
I simply walk
a different path.

Some-Body. Any-Body. The Body.

It belonged to a Chinese female probably between the ages of 35 - 45. It was about 160cm tall with an engagement ring on its left ring finger. It had several bruises on its arm. And we dissected it. We made several cuts on the upper body with the help of a well sharped scalpel. All in the attempt of learning the human body. Finally we had it skinned off. Literally. We began clearing the fats and it was one well fed body. The layers of adipose tissue was overwhelming. And we thought it was over. How wrong we were. It was time for a Mastectomy. We carefully removed the lump of fat that was attached to its chest and placed it on a dish. Over? Not quite? We were now looking for white stuff. Adipose and more adipose. Beneath all that adipose laid the muscles; nicely packed away. This particular chest muscle was the Pectoralis Major. Upon cutting the muscle away came a gleam of hope in white. They were the rib bones. Success. It was over.