Lying is a Strict NO-NO!

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course child," he said: "What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it," she explained.

"Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear," he replied, "but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she said.

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare," he replied truthfully. The official thought this answer strange, so asked: "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said: "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

US President on The Tonight Show

I just saw this clip of The Tonight Show (though I don't really favour Jay Leno) with US President Barack Obama in it. I so wanted to upload the clip and that would require me to edit the clip and bla bla..Furthermore, I am only limited to a 100MB upload on the blog! Hence, I decided maybe I'd share some of the funny moments Obama and Leno shared on screen. Obama spoke with such ease and clarity (yeah I'm aware that his oratorical skills are superb) he impresses me every other time he has an article published on him or an interview like this one. From Bush to Obama - 360 degrees Change (OK perhaps I shouldn't have made that comparison; its pretty obvious) Oh well, in short I am a proud fan of the President :D

The following excerpt was so hilarious onscreen but if they failed to bring about the humour they ought...extremely sorry....do check out the video for the entire interview...includes the AIG Insurance almsot bankruptcy state, dollars thats going to be put into Research and Development - Hybrid cars of the future America, his plans on clearing the Economy Mess and Education matters. Too many plans, too short a term, lotsa mess that has to be cleared even before reconstruction on any sector begins, BUT he sounds convincing :)

Jay Leno : Its only 59 days now right? So much scrutiny. Is it fair to judge so quickly?

Obama: We are going through a difficult time. I welcome the challenge. I ran for President cos I
thought we needed big changes. I do think in Washington it's a little like the American Idol except everybody is Simon Cowell.

Jay Leno: I am hearing so much about the dog. When is it coming?

Obama: This is Washington and that was a campaign promise.... Once i return from my NATO Summit, the dog will be in place....I think I am going to have a lot of fun with it.. They say if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog ;)

20 March 2009, Turned 22, in Shanghai

Its 21st March 1258am.
Just reached home an hour ago.
Was at Conway's place since 4pm in the evening...
Wonderful friends who cooked for me and really made the birthday a special one :)
There was no cake though..partly cos I didn't want one...hehe..Not really into birthday cakes..I can't recall when was the last time I ever cut a birthday cake!
Oh well, we made dumplings, played games, lost and stuffed ourselves with more dumplings than our stomach could take..(glad no one puked)..listened to old chinese songs ( I barely understood the lyrics!)

Thank You guys...though some of the dumplings didn't exactly turn out well..haha..the fried ones were really good though..

Thank You to Pauline, Jean, Samantha, Janice, Conway, Shilpa, Mark who made wonderful dumplings and shopped for stuff so that you guys can make vegetarian stuff for me to devour. Conway for allowing the rest of us to mess up his house; particularly the kitchen. The rest of their class for their wishes and gifts.

Friends from Singapore who flooded my Facebook Wall...Thank you guys....

PS: I may sound like a Oscar wannabe..but guys......the GRATITUDE IS SINCERE...LOVE YOU ALL!!

Muslim Jetsetter : Fly Under Cover

I travel abroad quite a bit, both for work and for pleasure. Most of the time, I travel alone. Needless to say, whether one would want to admit it or not, traveling on airplanes nowadays is testing to many, especially if you're recognizable as Muslim.

One can take it in different ways, either a) with resentment, which does not help the situation much and is bad for your blood pressure if you are a frequent flyer; or b) with a little bit of humor and amusement.

Most of the time, I choose to be amused, accepting the idiosyncrasies as part of the adventure, acting as if I am a character in a P.G. Wodehouse story, only without Jeeves.

Below are some points that I hope can be of help to you in your travels.

-Look normal in your passport picture. This is harder than it sounds, I know. It is also an uphill battle, since cameras that take passport photos seem to have a special feature that works like a distorting mirror to make anyone look like a brewing psychopath.

One way to overcome this is by smiling in your passport photo. This may be hard, as the photo is sometimes taken at the passport office, where you have waited for three hours in a badly ventilated and crowded room.

The problem is that sometimes they do not allow you to smile in your photo. The United States, for example, expressly states that one should not be smiling in the visa photo.

I was told that this is for face verification purposes. Apparently smiling distorts the face and may render it unrecognizable by the machine. I guess this makes sense. In the event that you are not allowed to smile, try to make a humble, honorable and decent expression, like you are meeting your mother-in-law for the first time.

-Use headphones to listen to your MP3 player at the airport. If you are like me and live your life with constant background music, you would definitely prefer to spend the time waiting at an airport with your iPod on. However, I have realized that a woman in a headscarf traveling alone and listening to her iPod through earphones is a cause for concern to many.

Why? Because the onlooker can only see a) the headscarf and b) a white wire that suspiciously stretches from her scarf to an unknown device in her pocket.

On one occasion (I swear this is true!) the man who sat across me at the boarding gate at Newark Airport was eyeing my wire so nervously while trying to avoid eye contact that I looked straight at him, slowly took out my iPod and held it out to him. He had to smile.

- If you are taken aside at the airport immigration section, be calm and answer questions with the simple truth. I have had my share of being escorted to a special office at the airport immigration section. Maybe they were on a lookout for a 20-something, 5-foot-tall Oriental-looking Muslim girl in a headscarf traveling alone. They were especially suspicious when I was returning alone to the United States after a five-day trip to the Caribbean.

Flipping through my passport, the officer asked, "Why did you go to St. Maarten?" My answer: "Because travelocity.com was having a great promotion and I wanted to celebrate having sat for the New York Bar exam."

I also know of a friend who was asked by the airport immigration officer to explain each stamp in his passport.

Officer: "Why did you go to Egypt?"

Friend: "To see the pyramids."

I also learned that it helps to slip in that you are a law student/lawyer who specializes in constitutional law. But only use this if it's true. And no, watching Law & Order is not exactly the same thing.

-Talking points. When one is stuck for hours on a plane sitting elbow-to-elbow with a stranger, there is bound to be interaction. After the polite smile and the "hellos," a few things may occur.

One, the conversation may die. In this case, one only has to put on the headphones and enjoy the in-flight movies or sleep.

Two, the conversation continues. This can be tricky if the other person does not speak your language. I once had a 45-minute conversation with an Italian lady. She spoke Italian, I spoke English, and we understood each other through hand gestures. Actually, it was fun.

At other times, one is faced with thinly veiled prejudice, with or without malice. There are those who are just a little too surprised when they hear that I am a lawyer and a Harvard graduate, apparently shocked to find out that I was not forced into marriage at 16 and do not have seven kids yet.

There are also those who feel the need to talk to me about "Muslim issues," perhaps feeling that they should talk to me about something I can relate to. Oppression of women tends to crop up (perhaps because the topic terrorism is a no-no on a plane). I do not mind talking about it, unless I find myself being made personally liable for something that happened in a village in Africa.

Sometimes, I get compliments that are meant well but do not necessarily translate that way. For example, an American next to me once said, "You speak English well." I smiled and replied, "Thanks. You do too."

Then there are the people who, for some reason, are overly enthusiastic about being seated next to you. In such situations, I can't help but feel like an exotic animal under observation. These people are nice, but they sometimes go too far in trying to identify with your Muslim identity. I often feel bad for having to disappoint them, as in this encounter:

Enthusiastic stranger: "I see that you are wearing a purple scarf. What is the reason you wear purple instead of other colors?"

Me: "Um, it matches my top."

Once in a while, one does get to meet the perfect stranger, one who does not have any problem wrapping his/her mind around the fact that you are really just another person.

That's when you find that the journey is too short, even if it is between the farthest points on earth (I believe the Kuala Lumpur-New York route may qualify).

*Written by Melati Abdul Hamid; a government lawyer in Malaysia practicing public international law.

Dear Daddy...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, "Dad."

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.

..................

"Dear, Dad ,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight Motorcycle clothes, red hair and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the wonderful passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has plenty of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many, many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. 

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son,

Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

PS:PS: LOL ;)

Quoting Moviez...

Its past midnight here and I just finished my lab report. Was not feeling sleepy so eventually started facebook-ing and saw this note by a friend with list of quotes from her favourite movies and the rest had to guess the title of the movie. It seemed pretty fun and that inspired this post. I decided to list some of my favourite movies and their respective quotes. IF any of you guys wanna leave your answers for the titles, go ahead....:D Or instead thinking "this girl must be really bored/ had nothing else to spend her time on/ blah blah/then to actually compile a list"; perhaps you're right, BUT I really think this is fun ;)

And the List Begins....

1. "Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends."

2. "You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it. I've seen centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain and lies. Hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan, is... I think I love you. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange. No gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

3. "We all end up in diapers"

4. "You're black. You're not even a nigger. You're an African"

5. "So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. "

6. "How do you know that nothing bad won't happen?"
"I don't"

7. "If you're afraid of dying it shows you have a life worth living."

8. "What rules of conduct apply in this rural situation? We have been introduced, have we not? "
"What value is there in an introduction when you cannot even remember my name? Indeed,
can barely stay awake in my presence."

9. " What do we do now? Pray? What?"
"It's 9:00. Pleasant dreams."
"W-Wait. Are you tellin' me we go to bed by 9:00?"
"I were you, I would use this time to think about my life and its direction. Or lack thereof."
"There's nothing wrong with my life. You know, before I came here, I had a career, I had
friends, I had clothing that fit. Before I came here, I was okay."
"Oh, really? From what I've heard, your singing career was almost non-existent, and your married lover wants you dead. If you're fooling anyone, it is only yourself."
"God has brought you here. Take the hint."

10. "Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society."
" Funny, I never got a check."

11. "What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?"

12. "Sorry, I have a syndrome. I don't really have a filter. I don't pick up on social cues."
"You mean you're rude?"
" Yeah, but now it's a disease I can take medication for."
"They have pills for rudeness?"
"I know...and they can't figure out the Middle East. Go figure."

13. "This dock is off-limits to civilians."
"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately."

14. "I'm telling you Jorge, the first thing you have to do when you get to America - buy a device called TiVo. Okay? Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programming. I promise you that. "

And now I am sleepy......ZZZZZ.......

Running for Miles...

Muslims in Italy: Yalla Italia

The following is an article by Elisabetta Povoledo for the International Herald Tribune. It highlights ever increasing Muslim population in Italy and the efforts undertaken by the 2nd Generation Muslims of the nation. A very interesting article, I would say.

On one side of a drab street in working-class Milan, a squat structure houses a conservative mosque linked in the past to suspected Islamic terrorists.

On the other, an office building houses the budding newsroom of "Yalla Italia" (Let's Go, Italy), a monthly magazine written by 2Gs - the name here for second-generation immigrants - for young Muslims juggling identities and for Italians curious about a religion and a way of life barely extant just 20 years ago here.

The two buildings symbolize the different worlds inhabited by Italy's Muslims, a burgeoning community of more than a million that increasingly demands to be heard.

"We're separated by 10 meters, but culturally we're centuries apart," said Martino Pillitteri, the magazine's chief editor. In this Milanese microcosm, Pillitteri sees what he said he believes is the cultural clash taking place within Italy's Muslim community - "one vision driving toward the past, the other driving toward the future."

At a long conference table, a group of 20-somethings clustered for a weekly meeting. Most were women, several wearing head scarves, and nearly all were snatching a few hours from their university studies or day jobs. Some came to Italy as children, others were born here of mixed marriages, and still others came to study and stayed for love. They are at once Italian, European and Muslim.

"Second-generation immigrants are a huge resource because they live in the middle" and can straddle both cultures," said Luca Visconti, a professor at Bocconi University in Milan who this year published a study on cross-generational marketing focused on Italy's second-generation immigrants. "It's a critical resource in which to invest."

The positive message sent by "Yalla Italia" also serves as an antidote to more-sensationalist reports in the mainstream Italian media that tend to fuel insecurity - or resentment - about Islamic immigration.

When hundreds of Muslims in several Italian cities protested against the recent war in Gaza by praying in front of cathedrals and monuments, the conservative newspaper Il Giornale warned of "an occupation." Beppe Pisanu, a former interior minister with Silvio Berlusconi's People of Freedom party, said the protests were "a fundamentalist operation, the preliminaries of terrorism," the ANSA news agency reported.

The interior minister, Roberto Maroni of the anti-immigrant Northern League party, expressed concerns about "second-generation radical immigrant groups," warning that Italy risked "a situation like the Parisian banlieues," the heavily immigrant, disaffected suburbs of the French capital where rioting erupted in 2005.

The speaker of the lower house, Gianfranco Fini, has called on imams in Italy to use Italian as the lingua franca for sermons and commentary.

"Islam is many different things - it is not monolithic - and 'Yalla Italia' allows many realities to be known," said Rufaida Hamid, 20, who moved to Italy from Kashmir in 2001 and is studying to become a pharmacist. "I will be part of the future of Italians. I don't want to be isolated."

Compared with other European countries, Italy's immigrants are relative newcomers, and the country is still struggling to deal with its growing foreign population. If the French model has been to integrate through citizenship, and Britain has opted for multiculturalism, both with mixed results, Italy has still seemed unable to make up its mind.

Government policies have tended to favor repression over integration. After the Italian Senate passed a law toughening immigration policies last month, "Famiglia Cristiana," an influential Roman Catholic magazine, accused Italy of plunging "into the abyss of racial laws," a series of anti-Semitic measures that were passed by the Fascist government in 1938. The lower house still has to approve the law.

"Italy hasn't chosen a specific model yet for how it wants to deal with Islam," said Farian Sabahi, a professor of history of Islamic countries at the University of Turin and an editorialist for the Milan daily Corriere della Sera who has written books on Muslims in Europe. "It hasn't been a priority of the government, and that is embarrassing, because it goes against what other European countries are trying to do."

"Muslims frighten Italians" because many of them are poor, Sabahi said. And of course, she added, because of the association in recent years between Islam and terrorism. "There is an implication that Muslims are potential terrorists, just like Romanians are seen as potential rapists, because of the spate of rape cases allegedly involving them in Italy in the past few weeks."

She doubts that Italy will see the sort of unrest that swept France's suburbs, but thinks that it is critical to defuse potential areas of discontent, for example by allowing Muslims to build mosques. In several Italian cities, particularly in the north, politicians have exploited anti-immigrant sentiment to block the construction of new places of Islamic worship.

Second-generation immigrants - of which there are about 700,000 in Italy - can be vital to integration, said Lubna Ammoune, 20, who is Milanese by birth but of Syrian origin. "I like to think of us as a bridge," said Ammoune, who blogs for "Yalla Italia" and for the online version of the Turin daily La Stampa.

"Yalla Italia," which was started in May 2007, hopes "to show Italians a constructive reality they don't expect," said Ouejdane Mejri, 32, who came from Tunisia to study in Italy and now teaches information technology at Milan Polytechnic. "Immigrants are not just people who wash ashore on a beach. We pay taxes, participate in society, strive to integrate.

"We are the future of Italy, and we want to be protagonists of that future."

PS: Ouejdane Mejri's conviction is inspiring. :)

Maybe its just me

Relationships are tiresome, requires loads of effort from the self and the involved party to maintain a fairly good one. Friendships are one of the many relationships or perhaps the only relationship that I am able to relate to with much comfort.

Beginning with my parents, they broke the parent-child relationship and created the friendship so that I will be comfortable in conversing with them. Their methodology appears to be working finely, even after twenty years. Being a single child, I ended up growing up with friends.

And there is another group who fall under this huge category called "extended family members". They simply poke their noses into our lives every Diwali, to update their previous Diwali's "Chart of Family Facts'! They comment, compliment(hoping you return the something of a similar nature), brainwash you into investing in their new family business, reconcile with the ones they quarrelled with the previous Diwali. (Now why do think they reconciled, the social status of some have heightened!)

Couples, Marriages, boyfriend, girlfriend, that sorta relationship was something I wished the world never created! (OK Perhaps not, thanx to such a thing I have great parents). My mom went against her family and married a foreigner. My dad left his country to be with the love of his life. Easy going, supportive, loving and with little disputes thrown in; my parents lead a rather charming, interesting life together. Then again, it never did inspire me to attain a similar life. I grew up with an Anti-marriage notion. I disapprove of flamboyant weddings! A waste of time, energy and definitely $$$$$! Only later to sign another sheet of paper stating DIVORCE! (And I still do wonder why weddings are grand and divorces not....why not hold a expensive party for the "I am single now" declaration?)I find it extremely tiring to lead a life full of compromises, obligations and lets see......adapting to the fact that you will have to share your things with someone now???

Relationships cannot be avoided, we need one another to survive. However, if you are lucky with the relationships you create they last long..and some are just plain acquaintances with individuals who view life in a different light.

Like I said, maybe its just me.....ten years down the road, I see myself holding a scalpel ready to slice a skull open :) Now thats life! :)

Guantanamo Getaway

"In a way it's like a stage for the world; you have American soldiers, Muslim prisoners, you have guest workers from Jamaica who staff the McDonald's and do the laundry, you have some Cubans who have lived there for a few decades having fled from Castro. It's an amazingly unique place where people from all over the world come together to live in perfect disharmony."

- Jane O' Brian, BBC News

There is more to Guantanamo than what the papers carry. Then again, these photos will never be able to hide the 'events' that took place there.